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The Romantic Unicorn¸¸.•*´¯`v´¯`*•.¸¸ × Do you believe × ¸¸.•*´¯`v´¯`*•.¸¸ March 10 Feeling a little luckyTodays Mood(s): Exhausted but happy...and maybe feeling a little lucky
Today it is so cold here, but i lucked out not just once but twice. The first thing was that my boss gave me the day off. Yay! It's cold and i didn't want to go anywhere anyway. So i wasn't going to...until John sent me a text last night. He had a job interview...was i off? Could i watch the kids? Of course i could!!! That was the second bit of luck given to me, another day to spend with my kids! So i'm exhausted because i had to be up at 5:30 am and on the bus at 6:30 am, to be here on time for him to make the interview. But it is totally worth it. Patrick is standing on his own more and more...i so badly want to be here when he takes his first steps and he is soooo close to doing it. But John has promised to take pics with his phone and send them to me if he does take those first steps when i'm not here. Victoria is at home sick today too, so i got to spend the extra day with all three kids
 Missing Cameron though  Since i'm feeling so lucky today...maybe i should buy a lottery ticket  No... i'll just close todays blog with some quotes about luck.Quotes for the Day
Luck is when opportunity knocks and you answer.
~ Author Unknown ~
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.
~ R. E. Shay ~
Be ready when opportunity comes...Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.
~ Roy D. Chapin Jr. ~
May 24 Fun with the kidsTodays Mood(s): Tired, calm, relaxed
It is cold and wet here today, so i'm just planning on curling up on the couch with the girls and watching movies all day. Having snacks while doing so, and just enjoying some time together. Tori and I already started by watching You've Got Mail together before Miss Elizabeth woke up. It's been raining here for days actually, and i'm hoping the weather on Monday will be nice. I have to take Miss Elizabeth and Patrick to the ACH for Patrick to have another RSV shot. He was supposed to be done with the last one he had, but they called me yesterday saying that the season was running long this year and they want him to come in for another. A few weeks ago, the kids and I went out on a family event with Lasting Impressions. It's a program that is run for families where one or more family members struggle with mental illness. They hold events for the families to be able to get out and socialize and meet other people, and they also have family mentors who work with your family finding ways to better understand and work with their mental illnesses. I love it! It has been such a great help for me, and the kids and John have come to understand so much more. So for this event, we went to a place called Fire Escape. It is a place you go to and you pick a ceramic item, paint it however you desire. They provide all the supplies, and instructions on how to paint it for those who have never done it before. When you are finished it, you leave it there and they clear glaze and fire it in the kiln for you. Then a few days later you can go pick it up. The group painted tiles and we finally got ours back. Here are our creations:
This one is Camerons. He wants to go back and paint two more making it a set of three. One with a red background and black and white lines, and another with the white background with red and black lines.
This is the one Tori did. She gave it to me and it even has a title, it's called "The Mom"
This one is the one Miss Elizabeth made. She had me put her name on it.
Last is mine. Four hearts joined together to show unity, and a pair of baby feet. It's supposed to represent my four children.
Anyways, i'm off for now to go watch some more movies with my girls. April 23 Acknowledge and Accept Positive QualitiesTodays Mood(s): Calm, Rational, Curious, Determined
This week has been much more relaxed for me than last week. Last week I had an appointment somewhere everyday, which for me is alot, especially now when I have to pack up not just one but two small children. The only day I didn't have to go anywhere was Tuesday, and I've never enjoyed relaxing at home as much as I did that day! Especially as I'm not much for going out anymore, going out so much was.....rather stressful actually. But the appointments were necessary and had to be done. Something else I have to get done is a self-esteem exercise, so since I have a few minutes now i'm going to do it so I don't end up feeling guilty because I didn't get it done.
Exercise from: The Self-Esteem Workbook Chapter 14, Acknowledge and Accept Positive Qualities
"Self-esteem can be cultivated by resolutely acknowledging what is presently "right" about one's self. For many, this is difficult because habits of negative thinking make it easier to identify what's wrong. Although there is a time and a benefit to acknowledge shortcomings and weaknesses, when this becomes the dominant focus (to the exclusion of strengths) self esteem suffers."
Ok, this is part of where I keep having my slips into depression. It's a cycle I can't seem to break, focusing only on my shortcomings and what is wrong in my life. I end up beating myself up over every little thing that goes wrong and feeling guilty about it. For example: John would come home from work and ask me about my day and what I did, but what I hear when he asks "What did you do today?" is "Why are you so lazy and not getting this or that done". That's the thing about depression is everything makes you feel guilty...you even feel guilty about feeling guilty!
This exercise then, is practice in acknowleding and reinforcing strengths with appreciation. Doing this is a way of loving yourself.
1. Develop a list of ten positive statements about yourself that are meaningful and realistic/true.
2. Find a place to relax, undisturbed for 15 - 20 minutes. For one or two minutes, meditate on one statement and the evidences for it's accuracy. Repeat this for each statement. Why is each statement true? How do you know?
3. Repeat this exercise everyday for ten days. Each day add an additional statement.
4. Several times each day, look at an item on the list, and for about two minutes, meditate on the evidence for it's accuracy.
Ok, this is where todays moods come in. I'm feeling calm and thinking rationally. I'm curious to know if I can even come up with ten things to start with, but I'm also at the same time determined to do so! So let's get on with my list....
1. I have a good sense of humor
2. I am honest
3. I am loyal
4. I am patient
5. I am creative
6. I am flexible or adaptable
7. I am a good listener
8. I am good at organizing
9. I am a good wife
10. I am a good mother
Yay! I came up with 10 things! *Does a little happy dance* Now, for the next 10 days this is the list I will be thinking about and adding to. April 08 She wants her checkmarksTodays Mood(s): Optimistic, Ecstatic, Happy, and Excited
April 05 A relaxing dayTodays Mood(s): Happy, Delighted, Creative, Relaxed
I had a rather relaxing day today. Everyone was home, so I was actually able to manage a little bit of time for myself. One of the things I've learned in order to manage my depression, is that I need to remember about me and it's important that I get some "me time". It's helping alot too, that John and Cameron have learned more about depression and are more aware than they were before. They are both helping more around the house, and everything is not just on my shoulders anymore. We've even been more organized than we were before. I actually have a wall of chore charts in the kitchen area! Victoria & Elizabeth each have their own special ones, there is one that John, Cameron and I all share, and we have daily schedules going up soon too. These are just some of the things that have changed around here in order to help me. The thing that makes me happy the most about all these changes, is that they are helping me be able to manage my depression WITHOUT meds!! Whoot! *Does a little happy dance* So today when I got some "me time", I had to decide what/how I was feeling. I felt like doing something creative, so I spent some time making my new banner (it was time to change it anyway because my christmas unicorn was still up :P). I was delighted when I gave Patrick his bath this morning. It wasn't as rushed as usual because it was the first bath where he didn't spend the whole thing crying! Yay! So now i'm hopeful and keeping my fingers crossed that his bathtime from now on will be more enjoyable for the both of us. Anyways, that's about it for today. Now i'm off to give Victoria her reward for exceeding her goal of 20 checkmarks for the week......she gets a manicure & pedicure from Mommy :P
April 01 An Appointment and laughs, An Appointment and tearsTodays Mood(s): Interested, Relieved, Playful, Happy, Exasperated, Tired
My first appointment today, was in the south part of the city at 9:45 am for Victoria. She needed to have an ultrasound done to check her bladder because she is having recurring bladder infections. I was interested to know if they would find anything wrong, and relieved to hear that everything looked normal. We had a great laugh with the ultrasound technician though. Victoria kept asking what things on the screen were, and the technician would tell her. What gave us a laughing moment was this little piece of the conversation:
Victoria: "What's that?"
Technician: "That is your liver."
Victoria: "Liver?"
Thoughtful pause
Victoria: "Don't cats eat liver?"
It was not the only laughing moment she gave me today either. We got to the c-train station and were waiting for the train inside. There were about 5 other people standing around waiting as well. It was quiet, other than the sound of the escalator.
Victoria: "It's so quiet in here."
Me: "Yes it is."
Victoria: "Why are people not talking and getting to know each other? It's great Socialism."
These laughs put me in a playful mood, so when we were almost home she and I ended up playing around with the little bit of snow that is left. She was holding my hand and I would bump her with my hip so she would end up walking into little snowbanks. She in turn would scoop up little handfuls of snow and throw it on my back, or try and lead me into the snowbanks on my side of the sidewalks. We were laughing and having a great time together alone just her and I, which with 4 kids just doesn't happen often enough.
My second appointment today was in the north part of the city at 1:30 pm. It was for Patrick to get his RSV shot at the Childrens Hospital. Shots hurt.... baby cries a painful cry..... makes mommies want to cry too because they know it hurts and their baby hurts at that moment. I hate it when they have to get their shots, and I'm happy he only needs one more of these ones since the cold season is almost over. His next one is on the 28th. But, he's due for his first immunizations now too....*sigh* I'm sooo NOT looking forward to it.
Exasperated and tired.... I have to be up at 7 am to get Victoria ready and off to school...an appointment to get to for 11 am in the north part of the city again....and it's currently 11:20 pm and I have a 2 year old little girl who is tired but just WILL NOT go to bed. March 30 It's a boy!Todays Mood(s): Hopeful and Happy
What she had another baby?!?! Yes! I've had no internet since September, so many of you missed out on the pregnancy stories like I had with Elizabeth. I will try and sum it up as best as I can. The first I thought of it was way back in August. I missed my monthly friend :P but I put it off to missing it because of stress...the more I thought of it, I didn't remember having it in July either. When I missed it again in September I knew for sure and a doctor confirmed it for me. I was pregnant. My due date was confirmed by ultrasound, I was due March 8th. I finally got to tell people, and I was already 16 weeks along. I must have been having a blonde moment lol. I feared bleeding again like I did with Elizabeth, but thankfully my pregnancy progressed normally and without any problems. Then we get to January 29th. It was a normal day. Baby moved alot. I didn't have anything out of the ordinary happen. Had dinner out with my friend Kathy and another lady. I came home and had a relaxing bath with John, just talking about how our day went. John said something that made me laugh, and all of a sudden there was a gush of bright red blood filling the tub. Well, we got on the phone with the hospital right away because bright red blood in pregnancy is bad because it is "new blood" not "old blood" which would be a brown color. So they said to come in right away. We got there close to 11:30pm. They hooked me up to all the monitors, and checked the pad I had put on to see how much blood was there and they agreed that it was "new blood". My doctor arrived and did an internal exam. She said I wasn't dialated and my cervix was still good. So they were just going to keep me overnight and do an ultrasound in the morning to see if the placenta was seperating. Okay, no big deal I thought, everything would be okay. Wrong. I was laying there trying to sleep, when around 2:00am I felt another big gush of blood. I was soaked with it and had to change. The nurse who came to help me, said it looked "watery". They tested the fluid and told me my water had broken! So then they decided it would be best to induce me. They put the iv in and started the process. They upped the oxytocin regularly. I couldn't have an epidural because my blood platelettes dropped really low, so when it came time that I needed help with the pain I used the laughing gas. I knocked myself right out of it and remember having some really strange dreams..... Anyways since I was so out of it I barely remember the pushing, but the nurses told me he practically came flying out! The doctor had apparently just checked me and I still had a lip. She turned to log it down but then had to turn right back around because one of the nurses was telling her his head was there and he was crowning! Patrick was born at 12:12pm on January 30th 2008 weighing 5lbs 1 1/2 ozs. Which isn't bad considering he was 4 weeks premature. Had I gone to term with him, he probably would have been my biggest baby. His name some of you might remember from way back in my "What's in a name" blog, because we've had this name picked out for a boy in case Victoria or Elizabeth had been a boy. It's Patrick Allan Goleski. Pictures have been added in my album below my blog, enjoy! :D October 23 Almost Halloween It's been so long since I have been here! I have been keeping busy though. I have been looking after a co-workers daughter for her through the week. This is one of the co-workers who was pregnant at the same time as I was. The were three of us who were all pregnant at the same time. My poor boss  . So anyways, her daughter is only a few months older than Elizabeth is so they have been keeping me very, very busy!! They need everything at the same time it seems. One is hungry.....the other is hungry. One needs a diaper change.....the other does too! If one starts crying it gets the other one going. That's pretty much how my days have been going lately. At least they both nap at the same time too, so I can get a breather and not go crazy! Elizabeth is happy to have someone to play with through the day, and I'm reminded of exactly why I spaced my kids apart. Victoria is getting very excited about Halloween and her birthday next month. She wants to have her party at McDonalds. My Mom and one of my sisters will do it for her, so I just have to give them a list of friends she wants to invite to it. Cameron is doing well....he's just having problems with people who phone and think he's John! He had an old friend call him last week and hang up on him because he didn't believe it was Cameron. Yep, it's the voice thing, it has definitly become deeper.
~ Quote for the Day ~
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
~Erma Bombeck
For those of you who like my newest Unicorn baby, I adopted him at:
Visit her here
Until next time,
August 06 I tagged...I have tagged Coboro for the topic this week, however he is having problems with his space (as a lot of us are) so he has asked Gelert to post it on his. We can all pick the topic up there. |
Thanks for visiting with me!
Hopewrote:
BOOO!  Have a safe and wonderful Halloween soft hugs I miss you sweet heart, your in mythoughts as well as my prayers.. hope all is well..
Oct. 31
Hope ..wrote:
Hi,
thinking about you.. and praying that things are going well for you ..
missyou..
soft hugs Hope
May 22
Karenwrote:
Hi, just doing some blog-walking before heading off to work! How are you? I hope all is well, and you are feeling great. It is so sunny here today, in GA, I wish I could enjoy being outdoors a while, but I will have to watch the day fade through store windows instead, lol. :-)
You have a great site here .. I really enjoy your pictures, too.
Enjoy your day and many Blessings! Karen
May 4
Hope ..wrote:
Hey you.. huge soft hugs..
it was so nice to see your message.. I have thought of you so much.. and wondered how you were.. so many of the friends we knew are now gone.. I at times feel like the lone ranger..
"smile" how are your babies ? well they are n't babies naymore.. huh..
please come and visit again wehn you can..
I have a new place.. as the one that was up when you were around is really hard for most to access with all the new upgrades MSN has done..
not to sayh the new space is any easier..
"sigh"
take care.. and thank you for visiting me once again..
soft hugs always.. H ope
Mar. 28
Hopewrote:
your missed..
hope you have been well..
soft hugs from an old friend..
~Hope
Sept. 29
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Yep, Elizabeth is potty training. At first it was hard to get her to go regularly, but she's getting better and more enthusiastic about it everyday. Because..... she wants to mark her own checkmarks on her very own chart. We printed it especially for her (it even has Dora on it because Dora is her favourite thing) and pinned it up so she can reach it herself. She is seeing everyone else getting checkmarks on the other charts, so she is excited about getting her own. Today she did awesome! First thing this morning was "Mommy i need a checkmark" so off we went to the potty and she did it right away! She came to me four times to do it today and managed to stay in the same undergarments all day! So i'm optimistic we'll be able to keep this up (because that's already two more times than she came to me yesterday), and soon she'll be ready for her "big girl panties", which are ready and waiting. Now...if only I could get the checkmarks to work as well as this at getting her to go to bed on time 
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